Doomscroll
Recovery Centre

WALK-IN DIGITAL TRIAGE

Have you been scrolling longer than you intended?

That's what we thought.

Walk-ins encouraged. Phones discouraged.

MEDICAL NOTICE: This is a parody facility. For actual medical concerns, please consult an actual medical professional.

VOLUNTARY INTAKE // NO IDENTIFYING INFORMATION

Tell the machine what it needs to know.

QUESTION 1 OF 5

Answers disappear when this page closes or reloads.

AUTOMATED EXAMINATION // PLEASE REMAIN APPROXIMATELY STILL

DRC-00PREPARING EXAMINATION

DIAGNOSTIC REPORT // FINAL

DIAGNOSTIC PANEL COMPLETE

PRIMARY FINDING

ICD-ISH CODE: DRC-000

OUTLOOK: Highly recoverable with immediate exposure to one (1) real thing.

IAB STUDENT HEALTH SERVICES // OFFICIAL-ISH DOCUMENT

DRC

DOOMSCROLL RECOVERY CENTREDEPARTMENT OF APPLIED UNPLUGGING

Take away from this screen. May cause fresh air, movement, mild curiosity, accidental fun, or temporary loss of Wi-Fi.

AUTHORIZED BY: Dr. Definitely Real

DRC DISPENSARY // REAL QUEST DATA

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