STUDENT ACTIVITIES ASSIGNMENT
THE COOLSideQuests INSTITUTE OF APPLIED BOREDOM PRESENTS
THE IAB STUDENT
ACTIVITIES TELETHON
2026 ANNUAL BROADCAST
PLEASE STAND BY.
Our volunteers are waiting beside several academically approved telephones.
☎LINE 01
☎LINE 02
☎LINE 03
OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY
They have nowhere else to be.
2026 STUDENT ACTIVITIES CAMPAIGN
WE ARE RAISING TIME.
Pledge a few minutes of your finite existence to doing something—anything—away from the scroll.
CURRENTLY PLEDGED—MINUTES
GENEROUS CONTRIBUTORS—HUMANS, PROBABLY
TOTAL FUNDS RAISED$0.00EXACTLY ON BUDGET
GOAL: 25,000 MINUTES0%
WE DID IT!Student Activities has used the proceeds to purchase ONE (1) FRISBEE. Fiscal responsibility matters.
CONTACTING THE CAMPUS ACCOUNTING MAINFRAME…
YOUR CONTRIBUTION
How much time can you spare?
No money. No account. No real name. Select a time and the Institute will assign the rest.
No real donor names. No precise location. No tax benefits whatsoever.
THE INSTITUTE GRATEFULLY ACKNOWLEDGES
JUSTIN CASE
from somewhere, probably
FOR AN EXTRAORDINARILY GENEROUS CONTRIBUTION OF30 MINUTES
Novelty acknowledgement only. Not a charitable tax receipt.
“Geographic accuracy is not guaranteed. Neither is anything else.”