INSTITUTE OF APPLIED BOREDOM // SCHOOL OF AUDIBLE STUDIES
Department of
Questionable Music
“Practice Makes Passable.”
No auditions. No tuition. No expectation that the first note will be the correct one. Choose a course, leave the screen and make a small amount of music in real life.
OFFLINE COURSE ROSTER // SIX PRACTICALS
Select an academically acceptable noise.
Each class contains one short assignment and a local honor-system field report. Nothing is uploaded. The Registrar has neither the storage space nor the interest.
Air Guitar Fundamentals
Instrument not included.
ASSUME PERFORMANCE POSITION →The Art of Humming
For students who know the tune but not the words.
RECONSTRUCT THE MELODY →Advanced Shower Singing
Acoustics excellent. Audience unwilling.
ENTER ACOUSTICS LAB →Percussion for the Restless
Kitchen-table drum kit.
BEGIN RHYTHM LAB →The One-Song Piano Degree
Master the first eight notes.
DEFEND EIGHT-NOTE THESIS →Understanding Jazz
Nod thoughtfully.
COMMENCE THOUGHTFUL NOD →OPTIONAL CAMPUS PARTICIPATION
Ensembles of uncertain availability
The following groups are real in the institutional sense that somebody once printed their names on a flyer.
- Fighting Sloths Marching BandHalftime arrival estimated during the fourth quarter.
- IAB Philharmonic Kazoo OrchestraSeason postponed pending acquisition of a second kazoo.
- Choir of Mildly Interested VoicesRehearsal attendance described as “technically plural.”